Stumped !

I recently had someone very close to me ask, respectfully..."How do you prepare people for Elle?" I stood there....stumped. That was a very good question that I simply didn't have an answer to. My reply was..."I'll get back to you." All I know is that there is usually someone there to be the bridge. Beyond that, I never gave it any thought.

I have been pondering it a lot since. The truth is I really have not brought anyone new into our circle since Elle's diagnosis. Has that been intentional, quite possible. Come to think of it, The Addy's are the only people that we got to know after Elle's diagnosis. On any given day, you can find a picture of Elle on the picture board in their kitchen. It's filled with photos of those that they love most...enough said :-)

The Addy's are the parents of one of my absolute best girl friends. I had personally been to their home before on my own. During this time, we spoke about Elle in detail. They initiated the conversation and I am always willing to answer whatever questions people have about Elle. Mind you that is providing these questions come from a good place.

When I look back to that initial meeting with Mason and Donna, I was so nervous. We had been invited for Easter Dinner. Now I personally, can hold my own anywhere. But things were different this time...it was about Elle and acceptance and fitting in and appearing normal and not disrupting anything or anyone and I could go on and on and on. Would she cry, would she scream, would she eat calmly or was this going to be one of those days when her inner-toddler came out. What if she dropped food on the floor or banged her cup to loudly? What if she jumped out of control in the jumper while everyone was watching football? If you are reading this you're probably thinking ...That's what toddlers do...they drop food, they cry, they get feisty. True, but when an a-typical child does these things no one really thinks about it beyond that. But when a disabled child does it...their disabilities are magnified!!! And THAT is what I worry about. That is the root of the nervous feeling. As much as I accept my daughter and I say that I really don't worry about what others think, I do in a way. I don't worry per say. I just want her to be accepted and treated as any other child. I want people that meet her to talk to her and acknowledge her as they would any other child. I don't want her to be fussed over because someone feels obligated or they feel sorry for her. I sometimes think people simply don't know what to do when they meet a child with disabilities. For goodness sake, she's a little human being. She can see, she can hear, she knows when someone is paying attention to her. Now, her response to these interactions my not be typical and maybe that's what throws people. Who knows.

Fortunately, I can reflect on my life before Elle and I can understand how sometimes people may feel uncomfortable with things that are not their norm. I know not everyone is going to be able to have this reaction to Elle or any other disabled child for that matter. I understand that and I respect it. I guess it's just funny how your perspective immediately changes when you change the shoes you walk in.

Getting back on track... I guess that's the answer to the question. Preparing people to meet Elle works best when the conversation about Elle comes up before they meet her. When I can be around them first and feel comfortable with them...when I have someone that is close to me to be that bridge. It allows me the ability to break the ice, if you will. I had known Shannon for years and had visited with her parents a few times before they actually met Elle. So it didn't feel quite so overwhelming when we arrived for Easter dinner with Elle. Mason and Donna's response to Elle also had a lot to do with everyone being comfortable. And for that, i will always be grateful.