What a great way to end the weekend... with good food, good wine & good company! Ever since we built and moved into our new house we have had the good fortune of getting to know our neighbors. Their names have been changed to protect their identity- we'll call them "Bob & Mary" :-) I realize that not everyone likes to be mentioned in a blog. Tonight, we were invited for dinner. As always, everything was delish!!
Elle even had a play mate during this visit. Zach, who is 16 months, had his big, blue eyes on her but she was playing hard to get. That's my girl. Zach is absolutely adorable and very well behaved. He colored, danced and even amused us with his knowledge of animal sounds. The things that I never gave a second thought before everything changed with Elle seem to hit me like a ton of bricks these days. A baby giggling, a toddler taking those shaky steps while mommy or daddy hold their tiny hands for support. I find myself mesmerized, staring... and then it starts. It starts at my feet and pushes right into my chest. It's the feelings of frustration, guilt, a grieving over dreams and what's reality and anger. Before I know it I am fighting back tears and having to count to ten to regroup. "Pull it together" I keep telling myself over and over until I can take that deep breath and settle myself inside. Fortunately, I am usually able to remove myself from the area. Tonight was one of those nights. Fortunately, Elle was there tonight and one look at that little face made everything OK. It's funny how as a parent we are there to comfort and soothe our children but the opposite happens at times. We can look to them and they can comfort and soothe us with just a look. In the end, "Mary's " peanut butter brownies were the best medicine. Isn't it funny how a little bit of chocolate & a glass of wine can make you feel soooo good?!
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2 comments:
Hang in there, Lori. It sounds like you have good people around you to help support you. Your job is only to love that little girl and take care of her needs and your are doing all that you can and more. She is developing and growing and that is WONDERFUL! You are a great Mom.
Your little bundle of love tells a story everyday when you look for the simple things. Her beautiful eyes and her gorgeous smile give affirmation to you Lori, that you are the most amazing Mom to the one who matters most,Elle! : )
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