Before I was a Mom

I received this from a Great Mom...thank you Michele !! Every time I read this it's a reminder of just how amazing it is to be a mom.

author unknown

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a Mom;
I made and ate hot meals,
I had unstained clothing,
I brushed my hair every day,
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
I slept as late as I wanted and I slept all night long.

Before I was a Mom;
I cleaned my house each day,
I never tripped over toys or forgot lullabies,
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous,
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or
pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom;
I never thought about immunizations,
I never held a screaming child so the doctors could give shots,
I never looked into teary eyes and cried,
I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt,
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

Before I was a Mom;
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down,
I never sat up late hours of the night watching a baby sleep,
I never got up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

Before I was a Mom;
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts and my body,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body,
I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel so
important,
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mom.

Before I was a Mom;
I never knew that something so small could effect my life so much,
I never knew that I could love someone so much,
I never knew I would love being a Mom,
I didn't know the bond between a Mother and her child,
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.

Welcome to Holland

My friend Sharlee shared this with me. She too is a mom to a sweet boy with Lissencephaly. It's for moms of children with disabilities, or children with life threatening illnesses or chronic illness or moms who have lost children. It so perfectly expresses how we feel. Thank you for sharing this Sharlee.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Happy 1st Birthday Elle Francesca Hariton !!!!!

It is hard to believe that this precious, adorable, cuddly little girl has been here a whole year. I can't say that it feels like it flew by. Why? Because I made sure to stop and enjoy every single day and moment with Elle. I didn't want to focus more on anticipating the new things that she would be doing. Instead, I focused on what she was currently doing. If you know our family, you know that the past year has definitely had it's ups and downs health wise, but I couldn't even imagine our lives without Elle. At one year, Elle is still trying to learn to sit. It's a lot of work for her brain and body to coordinate this task, but Miss. Jenny, her physical therapist, thinks she'll get it. Elle just had a hearing test and passed with flying colors. She apparently has "selective hearing" something she got from both her mommy & daddy :-) She is able to localize sounds very well. She is responding better to our voices when we call her now and usually with a huge Elle smile. Her favorite fruit is raspberries! The blowing kind! Yep, our little girl has figured out how to blow raspberries. Her favorite edible fruit is Kiwi.

We celebrated Elle's birthday yesterday with friends & family. We are so fortunate to have such a great group of people surrounding us. Everyone came over for her party. Grandma Jean came in from Naples, Grammy Sue was here, Aunt Carolyn flew in for 5 hours from Boca Raton, "Aunt" JuJu (Julie),"Aunt" Michele, Ann & Savannah, Miss Jenny & Alex, Josh & Wendy, "Aunt" Shannon, Marguerite & CJ, Jill and Danielle and of course, mommy & daddy! Elle received so many presents and they are all perfect to help her continue to improve her hand/eye coordination & stimulate her brain. She even got a pony!!!! Thank you Danielle :-)

Here are some photos of the day. Thanks to "Aunt" Shannon for taking all of them as I was too busy trying to keep little hands out of cake icing :-) And for those of you wondering, yes, she is wearing a tutu! I only have 1 little girl and she will only turn 1 once :-)

A message from Elle:

Thank you all for coming to share my special day with me. I am so happy to have each of you in my life. A baby couldn't ask for more loving, special, kind and generous friends! I love you all!

-elle